plz talk dirty to me
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so let's talk penis.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
