i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
