That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just google imaged poop.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
