Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize