Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
