On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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