yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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