Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
