i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sext me about skeletons
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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