Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
