Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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