So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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