Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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