proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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