How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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