Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
