I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
