doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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