All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
