Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
