i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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