She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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