you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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