I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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