May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
its liver damage thursday
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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