She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
