why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
