Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
