then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
