Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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