i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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