The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
