great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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