lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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