Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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