We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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