Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
