You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
