she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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