she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
