We're facebook friends in real life
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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