He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
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Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
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I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight