Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
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All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
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You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later