After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
