Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok

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(847): View more from Illinois

She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

What color are my eyes?

(1-519): View more from Ontario

Ummmm... 34 C?

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(248): View more from Michigan

In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't come back. They don't have pants.

(240): View more from Maryland

Oh god.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

God has nothing to do with this.

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