turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again