Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
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Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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