Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
