Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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