There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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