got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The beer is more important than you right now.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
