I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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