He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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