Can Purell be used as lube?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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