you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
