'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
