did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
