it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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