We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
