You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Randomize
